Monthly Archives: March 2011

Keeping an Open Mind for Love, Peace and Harmony

I have kept my mind open after landmark forum. When I shared with people about landmark forum, some responded that they have joined other self-development workshops as well. Among those I’ve heard about were Tony Robbins, T Harv Eker, “money and you” and Core Values Training or CV for short.

When I ask other people about these workshops some had positive views, and there were those who had negative views. I’ve heard people say, that Landmark was a cult. Interestingly I’ve also heard people say that  CV was a cult.

When someone commented in my initial post on landmark, that I had been “Fully indoctrinated into Landmark (AKA EST) Cult“, I was initially defensive, but then I recognized my desire to be right and not to be wrong,so I looked into the words. And in doing so, I accepted that the statement can be true, but not necessarily wrong (read my reply in that post) I came to accept that some people are allowed to have their opinions or interpretations. I am being open to accept (not necessarily condone) what people have to say.

Recently I was invited to a CV power lunch, they shared their experiences after taking their CV. I found that their results were similar to the experience of my wife and I from landmark forum. They shared that they learned “change” has to come from within, their spouses stated they experience the changes, and found that their relationship have improved.

Later when the power lunch was concluded and everybody was about to leave, I managed to talk to a few more people on their results and on what they had learned. What I found some answered clearly on what they had experience, others were more cryptic and often say that people have to join to really understand what they got. This experience was similar to those if you asked anyone else from any other self-development program including landmark :p

Unfortunately in some cases, I’ve noticed that some graduates of these workshops may exhibit a tendency to be… Arrogant. Holding so strongly the belief that their program is the best program, and any other program are not. So much so that they were not open to attending any other programs. This was apparent when I asked some CV grads about attending other courses such as landmark or money and you. Some landmark grads had shared that they discovered they had reservations about attending anything else.

When I shared with my wife (who also attended landmark) about this finding. She exhibited the same behaviour. She was defensive maybe even slightly frustrated that these people did not have the open mind that they should have if these courses were that eye opening.Then she realized that she had a racket against these people, I helped here to pull her through. She realized that though she no longer worries about looking good, she was now more into being right. That other people who had belief that their program is the best, and those who think that landmark was a cult was making her feel wrong. She realized that those people are just expressing their opinions and interpretations. That IT made here feel wrong. So now she created the possibility of being open.

A similar event actually happened to another landmark graduate I met in Singapore, he shared that he attended a different program that expressed different views from landmark, he became frustrated and left. It was later with the help of other graduates that he realized he had a racket with that program.

What I have realized that the whole world had a racket against each other, not just individually, but also as group, country, sect and religion. That all these people believe so strongly that what they have or what they believe in is right and everyone else is wrong. That in turn made others felt wrong, and those who felt wrong in turn were compelled to make others wrong to make themselves feel right. Some (not all) believers of a religion may believe that their religion is right, and other religions are wrong, and these also happens the other. That countries belief that their neighboring country or state is invalid. I am inclined to believe that if everyone and every leader could accept everyone for who they are,including accepting themselves as they are, and not label anyone as right or wrong. As it is what it is. And so the world would be truly at peace.

And that is my racket, that not everyone is working towards peace, love, and harmony. But if I continue to believe so, I will not achieve it. I realize that I cannot expect everyone to do the same thing as I do, to be open, to be patient, and to be compassionate. So now I am truly open for people to be open. I can only BE what I want to BE, to Do what I want to DO, and to HAVE what I want to HAVE. and in the process I can only hope to enroll people to realize my reality of love peace and harmony.

I have found that most what I hear from these programmes have existed for a long time. I first thought that most of the techniques used are similar to what I learned in educational Psychology. Mostly Carl Roger’s Person Centred Approach on Being true to yourself, and Albert EllisRational Emotive Behaviour Therapy on examining our beliefs on what happens in the world and how it makes us feel. But after further research I found that they also built their studies on ancient eastern philosophies.

All these different programmes may or may not have the same vocabulary, but I would like to believe that all these development programmes have the same goals, but in different techniques, which is to know ourselves, to accept ourselves and others for who they are, to find what we really want and achieve in life, to be present in the moment and to ultimately live our lives to the fullest.

It seems to me, that what we have learn is often in a short time, what took our predecessors a ages. What we learned in school or in these programs in a short time. Took philosophers, Scientists and researchers from a  life time up to several generations. We are in a time where the Information flows freely, where the culmination of human knowledge can be found in books, on the internet, in wikipedia, youtube and can be found by searching google. Reminds me of the Age or Renaissance where they were searching for what the philospher Leon Battista Alberti (1404–1472) stated “a man can do all things if he will.”  We are living in the age of Tranformation.

May we all achieve Love, Peace and Harmony

Advertisements

Saying Insya Allah is a Promise

I remembered the last friday sermon of 2010. Mostly because it covered an interesting topic that I love to emphasis on… the use of Insya Allah. It means “by god’s will” or “god willing”.  Some people say it isn’t a promise, I say it is. Recent events, a few discussions and debates has resulted in me finding the article from the sermon.You can check the article itself from the religious affairs website. This is the main line I refer to “…perkataan Insyaallah yang dilafazkan itu hendaklah disertakan dengan azam untuk menyempurnakan janji agar kita tidak termasuk dalam golongan orang-orang yang munafik.” which roughly translates to…

Use the words insya allay that is said with the commitment to fulfill the promise, so that we are not among those who are munafiq (Those who has no integrity or full belief in his faith)

I include just in case the website is down, I copy paste the contents here within. I hope you find enlightenment and use do not use the words insya allah lightly.

http://www.religious-affairs.gov.bn/index.php?ch=bm_info&pg=bm_info_khutbah&ac=440

TUNTUTAN MENEPATI JANJI
Kategori : jumaat (31-Dec-2010)
MARILAH kita meningkatkan ketakwaan kita kepada Allah Subahanahu Wata’ala dengan penuh keyakinan dan keikhlasan dengan melakukan segala suruhan-Nya dan meninggalkan segala larangan-Nya. Mudah-mudahan kita menjadi insan yang bertakwa dan beriman serta selamat di dunia dan selamat di akhirat. 

Muslimin yang dirahmati Allah,

Akhlak yang mulia adalah merupakan keimanan dan puncak akhlak itu ialah berlaku amanah dan menepati janji, manakala pecah amanah dan tidak menepati janji pula merupakan tanda merosotnya iman dan jauh dirinya dari ketakwaan kepada Allah Subahanahu Wata’ala.

Menepati janji itu adalah tuntutan syarak, sebagaimana firman Allah Subahanahu Wata’ala dalam surah Al-Isra’ ayat 34 tafsirnya:

“Dan sempurnakanlah perjanjian dengan Allah dan dengan manusia, sesungguhnya perjanjian itu akan ditanya”

Agama Islam tidaklah melarang kita membuat janji dengan sesiapa pun atau mana-mana pihak asalkan janji-janji itu disempurnakan dan ditepati, kerana orang yang menyempurnakan janji itu adalah salah satu tanda orang yang bertakwa, firman Allah Subahanahu Wata’ala dalam surah Al-Baqarah ayat 177 tafsirnya:

“Dan perbuatan orang-orang yang menyempurnakan janjinya apabila mereka membuat perjanjian, dan ketabahan orang-orang yang sabar dalam masa kesempitan dan dalam masa bertempur dalam perjuangan perang sabil. Orang-orang yang demikian sifatnya, mereka itulah orang-orang yang benar beriman dan mengerjakan kebajikan dan mereka itulah juga orang-orang yang bertakwa”.

Ahli jemaah sekalian,

Perjanjian adalah suatu amanah yang wajib ditunaikan dan tidak dapat diambil ringan dan diambil remeh, kerana perbuatan meringan-ringankan perjanjian apatah lagi tidak menepatinya adalah dibenci dan dimurkai oleh Allah Subahanahu Wata�ala, malah tergolong ke dalam golongan orang-orang munafik. Firman Allah Subahanahu Wata’ala dalam surah Al-Saf ayat 2-3 tafsirnya:

“Wahai orang-orang yang beriman mengapa kamu memperkatakan apa yang kamu tidak lakukan. Amat besar kebenciannya disisi Allah, kamu memperkatakan sesuatu yang kamu tidak melakukannya”.

Rasulullah Sallahu Alaihi Wasalam bersabda maksudnya:

“Dari Abi Hurairah Radiallahu Anhu, dari Nabi Sallahu Alaihi Wasalam bersabda: Tanda-tanda orang munafik itu ada tiga iaitu apabila dia bercakap dia berbohong dan apabila berjanji dia mungkir dan apabila diamanahkan dia khianat”

Perlu diingat dan diketahui bahawa sifat munafik itu adalah sifat yang sangat keji dan balasannya pula amat berat sebagaimana firman Allah Subahanahu Wata’ala dalam surah An-Nisa aya 145 tafsirnya:

“Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang munafik itu ditempatkan pada tingkatan yang terkebawah sekali daripada lapisan-lapisan dalam neraka. Dan engkau tidak sekali-kali akan mendapat sesiapa pun yang boleh menolong mereka”.

Sebenarnya agama Islam telah banyak menunjuk ajar dan melatih kita bagaimana cara supaya kita boleh menepati janji tetapi mungkin saja kita tidak menyedarinya. Cuba kita lihat ibadat sembahyang lima waktu yang diwajibkan ke atas umat Islam, dengan ditentukan waktunya sekali. Bukankah kita dikehendaki melakukan ibadah sembahyang tersebut dalam waktunya?. Ini bermakna ia merupakan suatu perjanjian hamba dengan Allah Subahanahu Wata’ala dan hamba tersebut wajib mentaati perintahnya. Jika sekiranya perintah ini dapat kita lakukan, setentunya kita boleh mendisiplinkan diri ke arah menepati janji.

Ahli jemaah yang dirahmati Allah,

Memandangkan janji itu suatu amanah dan mungkir janji itu pula perbuatan orang munafik dan berdosa besar, maka kerana itu agama Islam telah menentukan adab-adab yang perlu diikuti apabila membuat janji seperti mengucapkan lafaz insyaallah apabila berjanji, suruhan ini telah dijelaskan oleh Allah Subahanahu Wata’ala dalam Al-Qur’an sebagaimana firmannya dalam surah Al-Kahfi ayat 23 dan 24 tafsirnya:

“Dan janganlah engkau berkata mengenai sesuatu yang hendak dikerjakan bahawa aku akan lakukan yang demikian itu kemudian nanti melainkan hendaklah disertakan dengan berkata insyaallah. Dan ingatlah serta sebutlah akan Tuhan mu jika engkau lupa dan katakanlah: Mudah-mudahan Tuhanku memimpinku ke jalan petunjuk yang lebih dekat dan lebih terang dari ini”

Tetapi apa yang berlaku sekarang, perkataan insyaallah itu telah disalah guna pakai oleh segelintir orang, sebenarnya lafaz insyaallah adalah untuk tujuan menunaikan janji tetapi sekarang lafaz insyaallah itu digunakan sebagai alasan tidak memenuhi janji.

Perlu diingat bahawa janji adalah wajib ditepati, manakala ucapan insyaallah itu adalah� suruhan Allah dan rasul-Nya ketika berjanji. Ini bererti� ucapan insyaallah itu bukanlah sebagai alasan untuk tidak menyempurnakan janji yang dibuat dengan berserah kepada kuasa Allah semata-mata. Tetapi perkataan Insyaallah yang dilafazkan itu hendaklah disertakan dengan azam untuk menyempurnakan janji agar kita tidak termasuk dalam golongan orang-orang yang munafik.

Wahai kaum muslimin, ibubapa adalah contoh terbaik untuk diikuti oleh anak-anak, akhlak ibubapa banyak mempengaruhi watak anak-anak mereka. Sebagaimana yang berlaku terhadap masyarakat kita, ada antara ibubapa yang berjanji kepada anak-anak mereka tetapi sukar untuk menunaikannya. Perbuatan demikian itu boleh menjadi pelajaran kepada anak-anak yang berkemungkinan menganggap bahawa janji itu tinggal janji dan tidak ada apa-apa erti. Perkara seumpama ini tidak sepatutnya berlaku dan ibubapa merupakan model dan pencorak keperibadian anak-anak. Jangan sampai anak hilang kepercayaan kepada ibubapa mereka kerana pada kelazimannya orang yang mungkir janji itu tidak lagi akan dipercayai oleh orang lain.

Akhirnya, ingatlah wahai kaum muslimin betapa Islam sangat mengambil berat dalam soal janji, oleh itu berhati-hatilah sebelum berjanji. Dan jadikanlah perkataan Insyaallah itu sebagai azam yang kuat kearah menyempurnakan dan menunaikan janji yang dijanjikan. Jadikanlah diri kita orang-orang yang bertakwa dan penuh amanah, bukan daripada orang-orang yang mungkir janji yang tergolong dalam golongan orang-orang munafik.

Surah Al-Mukminun ayat 8-11 tafsirnya:

“Dan mereka yang menjaga amanah dan janjinya. Dan mereka yang tetap memelihara sembahyangnya mereka itulah orang-orang yang berhak mewarisi. Yang akan mewarisi Syurga Firdaus mereka kekal di dalamnya”


Disappointing Turn Out

Have you had days where nothing turned out right? Have you ever try to organize something and there wasn’t a good turnout? It has happened before for me. I never felt good about it. It recently happened again. But this time I have recently learned a mental technique or technology to be okay about it.

What happened:

  1. I helped someone to organize a seminar, by booking a place and inviting people. But then on the day, only 1 invitee came out of 10 who said they would attend.
  2. And some of these people I thought to be of integrity. The whole thing was scrapped.
  3. The entry was free, but refreshments were prepared. And so most were wasted, but the organizer decided to give the food away. and thankfully he seemed patient and understanding about the whole situation.

My interpretation:

  1. I thought I had done enough It turns out I didn’t, and I thought I was worthless, useless.
  2. people didn’t respect me enough to be truthful about their attendance. I felt guilty about disappointing the organizer. I wasn’t a good marketer and organizer.
  3. Food was wasted, Other people’s time and efforts were wasted. I caused them to be wasted. I will have to pay or suffer for this mistake sooner or later.

I let go of my interpretations….
I Accept that I did what I thought I could do and did it.
I Accept that people may not honor their word for their own reasons.
I Accept that food will be wasted due to circumstances.
I Accept things happen because they happened.

Now I create the possibility of BEing prepared, patient and persistent.

I will DO marketing appropriately, and get RSVP officially, and Make up for lost time and opportunity.

As I want to HAVE a good turn out, And a happy and satisfied friend/customer who trusted me for organizing for them.

I hope other may learn what I have from Landmark forum and Be at Peace with themselves.

“Love the life you live, and live the live you love” – Bob marley